Reviewed by

Leen Scholiers - Pleasure & Love Coach


How your cycle affects your sex drive

Reviewed by

Leen Scholiers - Pleasure & Love Coach

One week you might feel super sexy and ready for action. The next? Meh, you could take it or leave it.

When it comes to your sex drive, your hormones play a big role in how riled up you feel. Estrogen, progesterone and testosterone all change throughout the month and as the levels rise and fall, so does your libido.

Just not feeling it? 🙅‍♀️

What if you don’t feel turned on at all? Well girl, you are not alone 70% of women say they often don’t feel any desire for sex at all!

Sleep and stress play a major role in this, but your hormones are the biggest player. There are certain points in your cycle where you are just more likely to be up for it. And if you can communicate this to your partner, you’re both going to feel a lot better in the bedroom.

Your sexy cycle

So, when are you going to feel the most interested in sex? Here is what our expert Leen S has to say about the menstrual cycle:

The 4 stages of the cycle can also be seen like the 4 seasons

🌱 Spring for the follicular phase,

☀️ Summer during ovulation,

🍁 Autumn when you are premenstrual,

🥀 And winter during your bleed

And even more interesting is that in your orgasmic experience you also move through these 4 seasons

Spring when you are building up your pleasure, summer when you have the actual orgasm(s), autumn when you are in your post orgasm bliss and your body feels open and emotions are flowing, winter when you are still and you are regenerating.

Each of these seasons, whether as your female cycle or as your orgasmic cycle has qualities and flavours that are meant to be enjoyed and to be experienced fully. That means that there is no hierarchy, summer isn’t better than winter.

What, am I supposed to enjoy my bleed 🩸?
Could feeling not sexual be ok?

💃 Yes yes yes woman!
Embracing yourself as a cyclical being, and thereby honouring your body’s needs for stillness and rest is crucial.

You see, some women try to rush themselves through winter, when actually it is a moment to feel and relax and allow spring to come naturally.

However, you might get stuck in winter and then you might need specific practices that light your fire and help you move into spring.

Some women might also skip a season and want to rush themselves.

Here are some other situations that show you are either rushing through a season or you are stuck in one:

If you can’t orgasm, you are stuck in spring.

If you are counting your orgasms, and approach sex like running a marathon, focussing on how you perform, then you are stuck in summer.
If you don’t allow yourself to feel your emotions after sex, crying for example is very common, then you are skipping autum.

Oh and btw, did you know that you can journey through your 4 cycles over and over again in 1 love making sesh?
Mmmm yes baby, that is what multi-orgasmic women do. It is possible, also for you!

Your Sexy Shopping List

If you’re just not in the mood, here are a few libido-lifting things you can add to your shopping list.

🍫 Dark Chocolate

Mmmm... the ultimate aphrodisiac. Cocao is packed with magnesium, iron and flavinoids which are great to ensure good blood flow to your naughty bits (among other body parts!). Good blood flow is key for sexual desire and for having an orgasm so go ahead: indulge!

Dark chocolate also stimulates dopamine in the brain which is associated with pleasure but make sure you choose chocolate that is at least 70% cocoa.  Snickers will not cut it...

🍍 Pineapple

Eating pineapple is said to make your bodily fluids taste sweeter, so if you’re feeling like some extended foreplay, this might be a great after-dinner treat. Don’t like pineapple? Try mango, banana or dates instead.

🍷 Red wine

If you’re out for a romantic dinner, consider some red wine over a cocktail or a beer. Red wine contains flavonoids, an antioxidant that can also be found in nuts, vegetables and fruit.

While it’s tempting to knock back a whole bottle together, for the best results, try to stick to one glass. This will help keep your hormones balanced, and prevent a hangover the next day.

✨ Ginger

This root does more than just help your blood flow, it also warms and stimulates... ideal for your sex life! Consider capping off your evening meal with a warming cup of ginger tea. Make it an aphrodisiac power house with a piece of dark chocolate on the side.

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