When you're pregnant, everything changes, and that's a real understatement. Aside from the obvious hormonal and physical changes, pregnancy causes a complete shift in your body and your sexuality. For some, getting pregnant was the most exciting part. For others, pregnancy can be a source of difficult emotions, especially for anyone who has experienced loss or is struggling with fertility issues. With so much happening both physically and emotionally, it's only natural that your experience of sex can change.

In this blog, we'll explain how pregnancy can affect your libido and give you tips on how to get your sex life back on track after giving birth.

How pregnancy affects your libido

When you're pregnant, your body produces new hormones. This causes changes in your energy levels and mood, and for many women, it can also affect your sex drive. Some women experience an increased desire for sex (you go!), while others experience a decrease in libido (e.g., eh).

Here's what to expect during each trimester of your pregnancy:

Sex during the first trimester

For many women, the first trimester is tough. Many suffer from morning sickness, or even feel nauseous throughout the day. Most are also exhausted and need much more sleep, both day and night. That makes sense: your body works incredibly hard to transform a few tiny cells into a fully-fledged human being! You might also experience breast tenderness and bloating. So it's no wonder sex isn't high on your list.

Your estrogen is at an all-time low during the first trimester, which explains why you have little desire for sex and don't get as wet.

But sometimes pregnancy hormones actually make you feel good and increase your sex drive. This happens especially in the second trimester:

Sex during the second trimester

Many women feel much better during the second trimester, and sex seems like a good idea again. For most, the nausea has subsided or disappeared completely.

Hormones and increased blood flow to your genitals can also make it easier to climax. That's why many people recommend going on a babymoon this trimester. You'll feel better, probably look a little pregnant, but you'll still be mobile and energetic enough to enjoy a vacation and your partner!

If your belly is already large at this stage, finding comfortable sex positions can sometimes be a challenge, but it can also be fun! Try something new and remember to communicate with your partner. We'll give you some tips later in this article.

Sex during the third trimester

Many couples worry that sex might hurt the baby. Don't worry. You don't hurt the baby by having sex or reaching orgasm. So if you're feeling up to it, go for it. The baby isn't aware of what you're doing. And the endorphin rush of happiness from an orgasm is good for your baby too!

As your due date approaches, the positions you used to enjoy might feel uncomfortable. Experiment with new positions and find one that works for you.

If you're feeling less sexy and more tired than usual, that's understandable. If you're not in the mood for sex, talk to your partner and explain what's going on.

Sex positions during the third trimester

Your belly is big, and you're not as mobile as you used to be. You're probably experiencing some aches and pains here and there. There are a few positions that can make it more comfortable and enjoyable. Here are a few of our favorites:

• Spooning or lying on your side : This position puts no weight on your back, and a pillow under your belly makes it extra comfortable. If your partner is lying behind you, you can also place a pillow between your knees for extra pelvic comfort.
• You on top: You control the depth, stimulation, and rhythm.
• Any standing position or on all fours : Rest your arms against the wall or on a chair so you don't have to support all your weight.
• Missionary: This position is perfect if you're comfortable. Don't let your partner rest all their weight on top of you, and for extra comfort, slide down slightly so your pelvis rests on the edge of the bed. Place a pillow under your pelvis and have your partner kneel in front of you or stand between your legs.

Sex and fertility problems

Many couples are still very new to the idea of ​​having children. Most couples think they'll get pregnant easily and quickly once they stop using birth control, and they also think getting pregnant will be sexy and fun.

While this is the experience of some women, many couples struggle to realise their desire to have children and the whole process of having a baby can throw your sex life into crisis.

A fertility issue is often one of the first major crises a couple experiences together. Whether it's a miscarriage, the loss of a baby, or fertility treatments, the experience can be very stressful and heartbreaking, and couples often cope in different ways.

In addition, fertility treatments are expensive, and money can be a source of stress for couples, especially if they have different opinions about how to spend it. All these challenges can lead to a couple feeling disconnected, which will undoubtedly impact their sex life.

These may not be the most inspiring stories, but they're common, and we don't want to skip them. If you're struggling with this right now, we want you to know we're here for you. If you'd like to talk, please contact us via chat support on our website.

Below we give you some tips for this difficult period:

• Sex can feel very practical when you're dealing with fertility issues . Sex on demand or according to a schedule isn't exactly sexy. Do it outside your fertile window too – just for fun!
• Agree with your partner how much you're willing to share with family and friends. Sex is such a private topic, but sometimes talking can help you feel less alone.
• Let go of expectations . There's no right or wrong way to do this.
• Consider talking to someone . Fertility problems can affect every aspect of your life. Talking to a professional can be helpful, especially as a couple.
• Communicate ! Talk to your partner about how you're feeling. Be open and honest. It will help you stay connected.

Sex After Pregnancy: Is It Normal to Be Painful?

For many women, sex after childbirth is painful. Some studies show that as many as 70% of women experienced pain during their first time after giving birth.

Pain can persist for up to six months after delivery (and sometimes longer). Some women also experience less intense orgasms.

For many women, their sexual experience after giving birth is therefore completely different.

But only one in ten women talks to their doctor about persistent pain or problems – that has to change!

Why does sex hurt after childbirth?

Pain during intercourse after childbirth can have several causes. Tense and sensitive scar tissue can play a role, but something as simple as vaginal dryness due to hormonal issues can also make sex more painful.

Some people also experience pain for mental reasons. You may feel more tense (after all, you have a new life to care for!), and sleep disruption or lack thereof can disrupt your mood.

Bottom line: Sex can feel different, and that's okay. But pain isn't normal. If you're experiencing pain, contact your gynecologist or midwife and talk about what's going on. Life's too short not to enjoy sex with your partner!

Getting your sex life back on track after giving birth

Your sex life will undoubtedly change after having a baby. That's okay. If you're struggling to rekindle that spark, here are a few tips:

• Talk to each other . Tell your partner how you're feeling and share that you might be a little nervous or worried that sex will be different. Remember, your partner is likely in the mood, so it can be helpful to discuss expectations and desires. This will help you feel connected, which can make sex more enjoyable.
• Try to relax . Take your time getting each other excited and spend longer than usual on foreplay to ensure you're in the mood.
• Use lubricant . Some women experience vaginal dryness after giving birth due to hormonal changes. Lubricant can help make sex more enjoyable for both of you.
• Do pelvic floor exercises . Weakening vaginal muscles isn't just related to pregnancy and childbirth, but also to the natural aging process. Your vagina can also widen somewhat after having a baby. Just like exercising the rest of your body, pelvic floor exercises can help you tighten these muscles. This can make sex and orgasms feel more pleasurable.

This article was written by Uwe, Guud ambassador . Uwe has been a practicing midwife for over ten years. She is also the mother of two beautiful children. She enjoys breaking down taboos surrounding childbirth and the postpartum period. She is the author of two books on pregnancy and childbirth. For more information about Uwe, read this blog post or watch her video here.