The Emotional Rollercoaster of Being a New Mother

Caring for a tiny human you've just welcomed into the world isn't easy. It can be challenging to feel completely at home in your new role as a mother. The uncertainty, stress, lack of sleep, and constant focus on your baby can make you struggle as a new mother.

And it doesn't matter how well prepared you were, or how excited you were. The emotions you can still feel are so overwhelming they seem to come from another planet.

And yes, there are wonderful highs and moments of endless, pure pleasure, but the first few weeks (months!) also include incredibly lows. This comes as a huge surprise to some women, because you were looking forward to it so much, weren't you? And you were incredibly well prepared, weren't you?

Don't worry: all these feelings are normal, and the sad or confusing ones will fade over time. However, it's important to keep checking in with yourself and be honest with yourself, so you can recognize when your feelings aren't normal.

Our Guud team is made up of seasoned mothers, and we know exactly what you're going through. In this blog post, we've compiled our shared experiences so you know exactly what feelings come with it and when it's time to speak up.

Feelings before birth

Did you know there's a special word in English for the mental process of becoming a mother? Matrescence. Wonderful, don't you think? This phase usually begins when you discover you're pregnant, and sometimes even before.

For most people, this is a time of pure bliss. The preparation, the daydreaming... But it can also be accompanied by a fair amount of emotion. You might feel overwhelmed, uncertain, scared, and frustrated.

Being pregnant is a bit like puberty. Your hormones are all over the place, and your relationship with your body changes. Your hair and skin are suddenly different, your sleep is disrupted, and you might no longer be in tune with your body.

Everyone accepts that a teenager sometimes acts a little differently, but most people expect you to be a big ball of happiness during your 'matrescence'.

But in reality, you completely lose control over how you look and feel. That difference in expectations versus reality can be devastating.

Know and acknowledge that becoming a mother is a huge, overwhelming, and complex transition that can touch every core of your being. Confusing feelings are completely normal, and you're not alone in feeling this way.

After birth

Fast forward a few months: you've given birth, and after the birth, you immediately felt a great deal: happiness, relief, and surprise, or perhaps even fear. But you're also exhausted, emotionally drained, and if you had a C-section or complications, you're also in pain and want to focus on getting better (even though that's probably not entirely possible). This is all perfectly normal. You've just experienced a major, life-changing event.

Some women fall in love with their baby instantly, but that's not the case for everyone. That deep, magical bond between mother and baby sometimes needs to grow. And that's okay!

Sometimes you feel pressured to bond with your baby right away. And if you don't, you might feel guilty or think there's something wrong with you.

Remember that all mothers are different. There's no right or wrong way to fall in love with your baby. And the last thing you need is guilt about how you're bonding with your baby.

This development of love also occurs on a physical level. Research shows that oxytocin, also known as the love hormone, plays a role in childbirth and breastfeeding . This hormone can influence your bond with your baby. A good way to strengthen oxytocin and your bond with your baby is through skin-to-skin contact . So make sure you spend plenty of time with your baby – let your baby lie directly on your bare chest, wearing as little clothing as possible.

Postpartum tears

During pregnancy, it's a mix of hormones. They peak during labor and drop to pre-pregnancy levels immediately after birth.

Because many hormones directly influence your emotions, many women experience an emotional crash after giving birth, also known as postpartum blues. While postpartum blues is a familiar term, we believe it doesn't accurately describe how you feel and creates false expectations about what's normal.

More and more doctors and midwives are informing new mothers about postpartum blues, but not everyone is fully aware of this and these feelings can come as a bolt from the blue.

How common are postpartum tears?

You might also start to worry – shouldn't you be on cloud nine and just enjoy your baby?

But you're certainly not alone. In fact, almost all new mothers (about 80% ) experience some degree of emotional distress after giving birth—mood swings, crying spells, anxiety, or sleep problems. These feelings subside naturally, but it's important to make time for self-care and seek help when needed.

Surround yourself with loved ones who can support you and help you with everyday tasks, and who you can also turn to for emotional support. It can make a world of difference, so take time for yourself – go for a short walk outside, or simply pause for a moment in the hustle and bustle of everyday life.

How long do postpartum tears last?

There's no right or wrong, and postpartum blues unfortunately don't always follow a standard pattern. Everyone is different, and the speed at which your hormones return to normal varies from woman to woman. For example, you might experience some discomfort about two days after giving birth, and it can last for about two weeks.

If these feelings do not go away or even get worse over time, it is wise to contact your midwife or gynaecologist, as this could indicate, among other things, postnatal depression .

Postnatal depression

Postpartum depression is a medical condition that occurs during pregnancy or in the first year after giving birth. It is the most common complication in women who have just given birth – 1 in 7 women (approximately 15%) experience it.

What can you do about postpartum blues?

For most women, postpartum blues stop on their own as their hormones return to normal. It's a natural process that occurs without the need for treatment. However, there are things you can do to feel better:

• It sounds impossible, but make it your number one priority: try to get as much sleep as possible . Ask your partner, friends, or family for help with naps. Most people are happy to babysit for a few hours.
• Speaking of help, find support from people close to you . Tell them exactly what you need or what they can do for you. The more specific, the better. Think grocery shopping, cleaning, or babysitting so you can shower or—there you go again—get some sleep.
• A newborn demands a lot from you, but still take time for yourself . Ask someone to watch the baby so you can go outside alone for a walk, have a cup of coffee, or enjoy some fresh air.
• Try to connect with other young parents . It can be helpful to talk to people who are in the same boat.
• It may be tempting to relax with a glass of wine , but try to avoid alcohol as much as possible. Alcohol can affect your mood and worsen symptoms.
• Nourish your body with healthy, whole foods and exercise whenever you can . And you don't have to exercise intensely—go for a walk, do some stretching, or enjoy a gentle yoga session. Consider carrying your baby in a baby carrier or stroller and going for a long walk.
• If necessary, supplement your diet with a supplement for extra vitamins and minerals that your body needs.

When is it wise to contact a professional?

If the postpartum blues don't subside on their own or even worsen, it's important to recognize this and talk to someone about it. Don't feel guilty, and certainly don't think there's anything wrong with you. If your symptoms make it difficult to care for your baby or perform everyday tasks, contact your healthcare provider as soon as possible.

You are not alone

At Guud, we're here for you during this special time. Whether you're pregnant or facing the challenges of caring for a newborn, know that you're not alone.

Feel, acknowledge, and experience the highs and lows, and know that every emotion you feel is allowed. Together, we will help you through this beautiful and chaotic phase.

PS. I hope this blog has been helpful. Just a quick note to close. Why are we sometimes so cautious with our wording? Because we want you to understand that there's no magic pill that solves everything (unfortunately!). Supplements can help support your health, but other factors also play a role, such as genetics, sleep, exercise, and diet. Do you have questions about your specific situation? Chat with us – we're happy to help, with no obligation!